Motivation...

time to say goodbye

2010-02-24T08:39:00.003-06:00

I am no longer going to be doing the blog-I just don't have enough time and I am always forgetting! and that doesnt' really do it any justice. I am still faithfully doing the p90x program and am certainly glad I started it! I would recommend it. :) thanks so much for following me. I will keep you updated on any future blogs that may occur!!!! Stay healthy! peace out.

plyo today!

2010-02-21T13:14:00.002-06:00

Chest yesterday--still not my favorite workout but better.
today is my favorite workout, plyometrics. I am bound to dunk! Not much new to report today.

Keep working hard all!

busy week.......

2010-02-19T13:09:00.002-06:00

ugh..haven't been able to get my workouts in the end of this week. I have actually been busy with work (gasp!) or in all likelihood it's really just been poor planning. However, tomorrow starts a fresh week which is good. I will also start the beginning stages of my ironman training next week as well which is very exciting! I am glad to have started this program for a number of reasons, I do feel stronger and more motivated, but even more I was inspired to do the Ironman next November. Should be interesting! I find that I am really starting to get my "mojo" back which is good. It ebbs and flows but overall I feel good!

I have also been finding it can be challenging doing the workouts at home since I am already at a gym! which is ironic since I started this whole endeavor because I was tired of working out at work. ha! Some people (OK mainly me..) are never happy. hmmph.

well back to the grind tomorrow after a mildly unsuccessful week.

As always thanks for following! It really does motivate me!

30 day results are in...

2010-02-18T08:57:00.001-06:00

well after 30 days of P90x-- I am down 5lbs, down 3% Body Fat, and down about an 1 inch on all the waist and hip measurements.

I can do better. Game on.

back later.

back and bi's...ouch

2010-02-16T15:51:00.002-06:00

well Back and Bi's was really biceps--but that's cool cuz I need some nice arms. :) wasn't hard but I am certain my pipes will be feeling it. I don't feel as though my pull ups are improving but it's kind of hard to measure. The support comes from using the chair(you use one leg to push off) so it is hard to determine if I am using less support of the chair or not. hmmm..maybe I will do my own pullup test at the gym. I am going to measure myself again tomorrow to see what kind of changes have happened. Let's hope for some sort of change.Yoga today(or tomorrow depeding on the time)

forgot to say happy valentines day. :)

keep pushing yourselves!! Keep working hard!

game on...

2010-02-14T17:00:00.002-06:00

well recovery is over..and I think I may have taken the "recovery" a little too seriously. :) but, nonetheless I feel great. Let the torture resume. Workout yesterday was chest/shoulder/triceps. I thought this was an interesting workout. This muscle combination is definitely harder but I am not sure I liked the exercise selection. I didn't have the shoulder flexibility to perform some of the exercises, but of course I am still sore today. Go figure. I am sure when I do the workout again it will be better.

Today was plyometrics. I actually have gotten much better with this one and I think this is my favorite workout of the program. It's high intensity but manageable. And hey if I can dunk after..great. ummm..yeah moving on. I also might suggest that you don't do this workout after a night on the town. Just sayin....

Hope all is well..and as always Thanks for following!
Shred hard.

recovery weeeeek!

2010-02-08T11:38:00.002-06:00

well this week is all about recovery. yay! so I probably won't be blogging as much. This week is mainly about the yoga and stretch and then next week is a new routine. Should be good!! :) so until then..it's all about getting my diet back in line after the superbowl..yay saints! have a great week all and I will be back soon after my muscles have recovered and gotten blazingly strong...ha. I feel good! Can't wait for the new workouts next week..

thanks y'all!

day 18

2010-02-02T16:25:00.003-06:00

Yogggggga! was better this time for sure, but still hard to get into some of the positions. The yoga abs are VERY hard. I feel so out of shape doing them. I can only imagine what a yoga class must feel like. I think I would be shaking throughout the entire thing! I did it this morning to see if I felt better...i guess I did but not that noticeable. gotta gear up for tomorrow's leg workout. yahooo.....

day 17

2010-02-01T19:58:00.002-06:00

shoulders, arms, and ab ripper X--check

shoulders and arms is a mental break workout for me. It's not the intense super hard workout that the others are but I have been sore every time. sweet. I would really like to have nice arms..let's hope this works! ;) I definitely feel weak in my upper body so I am just trying to force myself to increase my weights every other week or every week if I can. Since there is a recovery week in there I think I can do this. I went up in most of the weights today. I think I need 12lb dumbbells though. my 15'ers are one awkward and big, but also sometimes a touch to heavy..well, guess that's one way to get stronger. I wasn't really motivated to workout but knowing that this wasn't going to kill me helped. So..maybe I "might" take it easy on my clients sometimes...cough cough.

tomorrow is yoga. looking forward to it. need the stretch!

week 3 begins...

2010-01-31T14:04:00.002-06:00

well the 2 hardest workouts of the week are done. First was chest and back, lots of push ups and pull ups. I was able to increase weights as well as incorporate some full big girl push ups. :) not very many, but it starts somewhere. If I get to the day where I can do the entire workout doing full push ups, that would be a major success! Am sore today from it so that is good. I wasn't sore after last weeks workout. guess i should have gone up in weights last week...hmmph.

this morning was plyometrics. Ugh. Today was hard but I made it through. My heart rate also stayed down lower than usual but I felt like I was jumping higher. I sure felt like my lungs were going to explode but I would look down and my heart rate was still lower than usual... maybe that means my conditioning is improving, but that just means I have to work harder to get that heart rate up! yuck. :) Interestingly today's workout for some reason brought me back to basketball practice in high school. I remember the coach yelling and telling us to quit "doggin" it! ha! I pushed harder today remembering that. good times..I was in pretty good shape back then so I guess it worked!

I like the program so far. It's funny watching the same dvd over and over..I get annoyed with tony horton! lol..I wonder if that's how my clients feel?? nah... ;) I can't say I have been super motivated to do every workout but I have stuck to it so far and just "sucked it up", feels good, and i feel some improvement. Just going to keep pushing and "bringin it" as tony horton would say.

After this week is week 4 recovery...yippee. I think I will enjoy that.

keep pushing hard! as an old client HB would say " Shred hard!"

thanks y'all!

Almost done with week 2!

2010-01-28T09:00:00.002-06:00

sorry for the delay in posting..just has been a little hectic.

so..today is my last workout before rest day, and two days from now is the start of week 3. I was going to get up extra early and do the yoga today (substitute it for the kenpo) but couldn't peel myself out from under the warm covers. I should have know, I am not the best early morning workout'er. have to fit it in later tonight, or perhaps tomorrow. So in the meantime, the workouts I have done have been good. I did legs yesterday. I actually thought it was harder this time for some reason. hmm..maybe I pushed myself more. I realized the other day my legs are considerably weaker than they used to be, so I really want to try to build, build build..makes for some sore times though. However, I was not nearly as sore after the workouts this week. the ab workout is getting to be easier, although i am still not making it through the entire thing without stopping and my hip flexors are still burning! no worries...what's that saying..no pain no gain..

At this point last week I thought I couldn't move! so I am already seeing some coditioning happening. yay! I got on the scale the other day and I am down 7lbs from the start of the blog. I still need work on the food. argh. better, but not great. I will get there..

thanks for reading! Hope this is helpful for some, and keep up the great work!

day 9 and today is 10

2010-01-25T14:31:00.002-06:00

yesterdays plyometrics workout was better than the first time, but my heart rate was really high. Let's hope that translates into higher jumping! I tried to improve my quality and height of jumps. knee tuck jumps for example are very hard for me! Most of the other stuff seems to be more about cardio rather than actual speed and height. simple squat jumps, one leg hops. everything is for 30 secs so it seems pretty manageable. I better be dunking by the end of this!

so far so good...overall my motivation and determination has significantly improved. i can't say that I am super excited for every workout however having to blog about it, and also having my brother do it with me has helped a lot for accountability.

today, sh/arms/abs!

day 7, 8, and today is 9

2010-01-24T10:31:00.002-06:00

well I have started week 2..the second round of chest and back was yesterday. This was already much better than last time. I had more stamina and am not crippled this time. It could be partly that I knew what to expect which is probably more accurate. :) Overall I feel pretty good. I am going to weight myself today so we shall see if I have had any results in that category. Today on tap is plyometrics. oh boy--this was hard last time but maybe it wont be this time! I am going to try for quality of the jumps versus quantity. I want to get some height! ha!!

thanks for reading! More today after the plyo workout!

day 5 and 6...a little behind

2010-01-22T10:37:00.002-06:00

well I had to mix up the order as I was unable to get my workout in on wed. So wed was my rest day and yesterday was my legs back and abs day--

Legs--well actually not quite as deadly as I had imagined but I am sure feeling it in my rear end! lots and lots of lunges- but what I did like about it is that it was just one straight set as opposed to doing a circuit. made it easier for me i think. more pullups--I really struggle with pull ups and I can't really envision me being able to do a full bodyweight in 90 days, but hey- you never know. Just going to try my hardest. Today on tap is kenpo x which I imagine to be some martial arts etc..then tomorrow we start week 2--oh that chest workout is intense!

what doesn't kill me makes me stronger as they say

diet this week: considerably better than I was, but I think I can improve. Had pizza (albeit in moderation) but I am sure that's not really p90x quality! ha!

I feel pretty good after week one, My muscles are for sure feeling it!

can't wait to continue on.. hope you all are keeping up with your goals as well!!

day...oh I forget..4

2010-01-19T20:26:00.002-06:00

well today was yoga-- first, I have never done yoga, and second I am so sore I am not moving very well! However I actually really enjoyed it. My hip was bugging me a little (it has been for quite some time) and interestingly enough I started to get a headache in the middle, but that went away. some of the poses were nearly impossible but I was able to do pretty much all with some modification. it was a nice workout. This is one dvd though that I think I would want to do with someone. It's really easy to just drop from each pose, but if someone was there I may have pushed a little more. The only other complaint would be that because i didn't know any of the poses and having to constantly turn and watch the tv was difficult. I think that will get better as i become more familiar with each pose.

I feel better today, but am still sore. tomorrow is legs--should be quite interesting!

anyone else doing this with me?? I would enjoy hearing your comments. :)

thanks for following, i hope you have been inspired. and everyone is still on their plan as well

day 3

2010-01-18T21:30:00.002-06:00

well today I am very sore! my abs, my arms, and yeah pretty much everything! so todays workout was shoulders and arm--it actually didn't seem to be too hard. I think my arms are so weak they don't feel anything! there was 6 exercises 2 each for shoulders/bi/tri so I didn't feel too tired. Maybe next time I will increase the weight. :) the workout was followed by the same abs workout as day 1. it really wasn't any easier today...hmmph. maybe next week it will be!! I actually was dreading the workout today because I was so sore but I can already see how it's going to seem easier as I go. day 3 down--87 more to go!

diet today- pretty good

yogurt/fruit parfait for breakfast
salad and banana for lunch
banana snack
sushi for dinner--the healthy kind - no mayo or cream cheese (which of course is what makes it good..but whatever!)

yoga is on tap for tomorrow--however I was talking to someone and they said it was really hard. and since I actually have never done yoga--i am sure it will be deadly. but looking forward to it!

day 2

2010-01-18T06:45:00.003-06:00

well today (actually yesterday) was plyometrics. This consisted of jumping for 45 minutes. Not the easiest thing, I don't jump very well! or at least I don't feel like I do! I can usually always mentally push through a cardio workout better then weights so during this program I am going to really try to push as hard as I can. Some of the jumps I just couldn't get any height so it seemed like maybe I wasn't working as hard as I could have. next week when i do this i am going to give it a bit more effort and see how i feel. I probably will just get less jumps in but I imagine my heart rate will still be screaming.

I am feeling the effects of the chest workout for sure. my arms, abs, and hip flexors are really pretty sore. I like that though. I usually tell my clients being sore isn't always a good thing..and it isn't, but I do agree that it feels like you have done something.

my diet however was not the greatest. I had a chicken sandwich with some fries for lunch- and the sandwich was for sure not healthy. salad for dinner.

day 2 down--88 more to go! today on the agenda is shoulders, arms, and abs. yipppeeee.

day 1 of p90x

2010-01-16T14:21:00.002-06:00

Jan 16th--day 1 of 90 (also my brothers bday, happy bday! and he is also doing this with me, so good luck!!)

well..all I can say is Wow!! that was hard. so the first day of p90x was chest/back and then a separate disc for abs. Chest and back sounds simple enough--however it is basically an hour of push ups and pull ups. I should mention that I am terrible at both!! always have been..it was 6 different styles of push ups doing as many as you could and three different grips of pull ups with some weights for back. I couldn't do all of the different styles so I mainly stuck to standard and wide. it was very hard!! I probably did 100 push ups! (and that was well below what the very fit people did on the tape of course) I am certainly humbled. and also looking forward to what 90 days from now will look like. I hope I am able to do a few regular body weight pull ups. that would be awesome! I remember the last time I did these (which I only did maybe four or five cd's and stopped) I didn't think it was that hard, however I didn't have the pull up bar, HUGE difference maker. So anyone wanting to do this it is worth the investment. I was also in way better shape.

It's been an hour and a half since i did the workout and my arms are like lead! So I guess that's good. I think if I continue to push I should see some results!!

as for nutrition--the first 30 days is basically heavy protein, med carbs, low fat. so far today I had an egg and cheese sand on an english muffin (not the worst choice, but probably not the best either- 310 cal) and also a protein shake after the workout (only about 120 cal)

The program comes with a few ways to organize the diet- you can follow their exact daily meal plans (not my choice, I know I just won't be dedicated) or they give you a whole list of things to eat and how much you can eat and you mix and match throughout the day. That will be my choice.

I thought for perhaps a brief moment I would post a before picture--but then I regained my sanity! Maybe I will once the results are so astounding I will be thrilled to put them up!! ha!!

ok..tomorrow is a plyometrics workout. Dear heart rate--please be considerate.

till then...

still no weights..

2010-01-12T12:44:00.002-06:00

holding tight and still excited. Pull-up bar is in place! diet has been great but this week its starting to fade..how quickly motivation comes and goes! :)

hope you are all having a wonderful week!

2010-01-05T21:20:00.001-06:00

Well my weights won't be arriving until late next week. I thought I could do without them and just use the 10lb'ers I have at home but it won't work. I have been following the diet. The first phase is heavy on the protein and only healthy carbs. So far so good. I don't think I ate enough today and feel really tired so I need to make sure I get the appropriate calories so I am not drained at the end of the day. Today I ran 4 miles and tomorrow willbe finding some other measure of torture! Welcome 2010! Ha!

P90X starts tomorrow!

2010-01-03T17:03:00.002-06:00

well the holidays have passed..and I am back in town ready to roll! This plan is very detailed and I think it will take some time to get adjusted to it. The meal plan has three options--I am most likely going to switch between two (cooking their recipes or picking from the different food items to eat) I want to get in the habit of cooking every meal but I also know that won't be totally realistic. Looks like phase 1 is called Fat shredder--I have lots so let's hope it works!!

I hope everyone had a lovely holiday and I can't wait to report for camp day 1 tomorrow!

2010 I am ready!

the aftermath...

2009-12-27T14:16:00.002-06:00

Ha! well christmas is officially behind me. I had a wonderful holiday! I certainly did not eat well or exercise well but isn't that what it's about? how did it become that?? how did the holidays become a time to binge eat and become a sloth! gross. but time with family is always wonderful!

headed to get the pull up bar this week and maybe a set of heavier weights. I am very excited about this. i hope you all decide to do it as well! :)

Thanks for pushing me, thanks for the support. I look forward to continuing this in 2010 despite the fact that it isn't as easy as I had imagined!!

merry xmas all!

the day before the day before xmas!

2009-12-23T14:29:00.002-06:00

hee hee

well Christmas is almost upon us and at least one thing has been successful- not too many sweets! I am quite pleased. Perhaps it is because I work in a gym, but I usually am buying crap on my own at this point. So this year at least I have that going for me!

As 2010 approaches I can say this has been quite a challenging year for me. I am looking forward to the promise of another year that's for sure. I love the holidays, and the energy it brings! I love being around family and friends and everyone seems to be in a relatively good mood. I am hoping to carry this energy into my P90X endeavor for sure!!

I hope everyone has a safe and (somewhat) healthy holiday! stay warm! I will be in touch after Christmas again!

peace and joy!

things are about to get interesting!

2009-12-22T08:03:00.002-06:00

Well after a good discussion with my dad about this blog, and after he made me watch julie and julia- I realized I need to change this thing up!! In the movie if you haven't seen it she blogs her way through julia child's cookbook. It made me realize I need more structure! She had something to do everyday. That makes it easy! I thought about making a task list each month-something to do every day..I know myself though and that won't work. Soooo..what I have decided to do is blog my way through
P90X.

I know some of you are familiar as I have had conversations about it. It is a 90 day program by Tony Horton. He totes "muscle confusion" as his trick for success. It is a series of 12 cd's (ranging from yoga, strength, and plyometrics) that he has mapped out for 90 days along with an entire menu to follow as well. I don't know that it's really anything more than getting people moving and mixing it up, but hey I'll give it a try. I have done a few of the cd's (and they were pretty decent) but never completed it as it was intended. I also don't know anyone else who has actually completed it. so for those of you who have it..do it with me!! and those of you who don't..look it up. It's all done at home with very little equipment. for my clients--don't even think about it. :) just kidding!!

so in order to prepare I need to get some of the equipment and I also think it's unrealistic to do it over the holidays. So in the mean time I am going to review the program. I know it states a list of things you should be able to complete before starting the program as it is a little more intense than your average at home workouts.

my goal until then (jan 2..i know, i know..so cliche!)- I need to start getting on a workout schedule. this will require a minimum of 1 hour/day for 6 days a week so I need to carve that time out now. I need to get a pullup bar- yes there are pullups (i think it will be awesome if I get to bodyweight pullups by the end of this!)

so..to end this long blog--today's goal- workout 45min-1 hour.

for those who are doing it with me, you have until jan 2 to get all the necessary things. I believe you can order everything online.

peace!

long day but it's almost friday!

2009-12-17T21:27:00.002-06:00

well today was a long day, but I did finish up my last class. yay! now I play the waiting game for the grad program I applied to. In class tonight the teacher brought pizza, and everyone brought stuff to eat. really?? really.... of course I had to eat because I was coming straight from work and thought I was going to be late. cookies, pizza, donut holes! I didn't eat a lot of any of it, but I did nonetheless. I also didn't have time to get a workout in.

however..tomorrow is friday and I know I will have time to workout in the am. :)

hopefully none of you (yeah right, I have worked in an office before) have to deal with office treats this holiday season. It's the worst!! I am one of those people that will get up every hour just to get those snacks. brutal. but luckily at the gym it's not too much of a problem, although more peeps bring treats than one would think. maybe they hope that if their trainer eats the crap, they can too! well..good luck with all the cookies this season everyone! stay strong!

hump day!

2009-12-16T16:36:00.002-06:00

well this week so far has been interesting. I have worked out, however my diet wasn't really great. well unless pizza and cheese and crackers is good? yeah..didn't think so. bummer. I did get on the scale and I am still down 5 pounds from my initial weigh in. It has been suggested that I set some time frame goals so that there is a sense of urgency to my blog. so..I have decided that I want to see where I get by the end of march. I hope to be in considerable better shape by then, and hopefully then will be ready for summer! well not really since it will still be months away from then..but at least it will be a start. so I am going to see how far I can get by the end of march. Who starts(or continues) these things right in the middle of the holidays!? ugh

I am also considering signing up for some sort of race to keep me motivated as well as enlisting the help of my co-workers for the strength training aspect. anyone doing any fun races coming up?? :)

thanks for reading! till tomorrow.....

Brrrrr!

2009-12-10T19:01:00.004-06:00

well this cold weather certainly doesn't help!! ahh! well, welcome to chi-town. anyone down for a run?? :)

well the past few days have been about the same as most, eating fairly decent but little exercise. hmmm...well I think Lisa you said it right..it starts the cycle. I think I have to get my workouts in bright and early in the am. otherwise it's a lost cause. I know that everyone is dealing or most likely will start dealing with lack of motivation in the cold. This is about the time last year when it started going south. I need to find exercise that I enjoy...I think I will try some group fitness classes. those are usually fun and I don't have to think too hard.

well that's all for today. Overall I am feeling much better. I at least have realized I have the control again, just need to tap into it!!!

stay warm all..

also I think everyone should be able to post as anonymous from what I understand..so keep those comments coming! let me what keeps you motivated, maybe I can use those methods!

I'm Back!

2009-12-08T17:26:00.002-06:00

Well hello everyone!

Sorry for the long delay but life got in the way (ok not really, i just didn't want to report that I haven't been that motivated). I am doing ok..up and down really. I have had some good days, and some bad days as well. I am going to try to force myself to write every day because as I have found out it is much easier to make poor decisions when you don't have to face them! I feel guilty if haven't written because I know deep down I don't really want to tell about it! argh. On the other hand it's also hard to determine what is important enough to be written. I think it will get better as I go and I won't be so self conscious about what I write. I didn't think I would feel this way, but after the first week of being motivated i slipped a little so it made it much harder to write. I felt like I was letting people down. but soon enough i won't care what y'all think....and since you cant comment, I guess I don't have to know! lol..just kidding. I really am trying to figure out the problem because the comments are what motivates me. So when there are none, I assume no one is reading this and I can go ahead at eat those chips!

wow--that was a lot of rambling. well todays report is good as well as yesterdays diet has been pretty good I actually haven't had any sweets in excess since i started the blog. I have been running intermittently. I have some help with that as a friend is doing her best to get me to run with her! I appreciate it because i always feel better afterwards. for some reason though it isn't sticking. usually I jump right on the bandwagon and exercise is the easiest thing to adjust for me..wierd.

ok..thanks for reading and look for more frequent postings.

Smiles!
Beth

well...

2009-12-01T21:12:00.002-06:00

I did gain back 2 of the 5 pounds that I lost last week, but I am not giving up. This road will be up and down probably for the rest of my life. I am just going to make this week better than the last. I know at some point I will grocery shop!! I have to..I will be broke soon otherwise!

I find it very easy to let emotions dictate and that has really been the problem over the last year. I totally understand emotionally eating. Through this process I notice that in times of stress my first reaction is really to grab something to eat. Why?? I have sooooo many friends who DON'T eat during high stress times. Why didn't I get that gene?? mom!!! :) I wonder why that is..some people have completely different reactions. My question for you non stress eaters..what are you doing to make the stress or whatever emotion it is really, go down? I know we eaters do it because it literally produces chemicals that make us feel good...hmmm. do tell!

of course my pursuit in psychology is making me reflect on these situations more but isn't it interesting!!
Again I appreciate those who are still reading, even it is to pass the time at work! I will keep you posted!

comments

2009-11-29T12:44:00.002-06:00

one last thing..is everyone able to comment now?? if not would you email me so I know? thanks!! I want everyone to be able to comment if they want!

email is bethsullivan17@yahoo.com

thanks again! I appreciate your following and support! I will make you all proud (slowly.......but surely) :-)

end of week 2

2009-11-29T12:33:00.002-06:00

well it has been 2 weeks..

having a holiday in the mix has certainly made things tougher. I realize how easy it is to slip into "i don't care" mode. or "it's the holidays" this weekend has not been good. I have eaten average at best. It makes me question how committed I really am although I am not going to let this weekend put a damper on my attitude. I thought that this blog was going to give me the spark or motivation that I was looking for, and it has to a certain point but I still haven't gotten my mojo back. :) ha! I guess it has to come from me..I still feel half invested. It's going to be a learning experience each week. I don't know what to expect for the weigh in tomorrow but I guess it is what it is at this point (although I can only hold myself accountable at this point). I don't have a good feeling though. Having the structure of the work week absolutely helps which makes me wonder how people who travel every week manage!! I would be a disaster.

I hope everyone else was able to hang on for this weekend! Keep me posted on your progress as well, It helps!!

have a great sunday all...keep you posted on my results as they come in!

happy day after thanksgiving

2009-11-27T19:31:00.003-06:00

well the heaviest eating day is behind us..I think I managed to escape without gaining ten pounds. I didn't eat too much this year, and I ran the 8k turkey trot (thanks to kate and kevin and the rest of the crew that came out!) I would say that my main vice this year was wine. I had way too many glasses for sure. those calories add up..but it was just going down so smoothly! today was not a very good day either. I had some hashbrowns with my omelette this morning for breakfast..and of course the leftovers. hmmph. Can't stay off track for much longer, don't want to make it a habit. no more junk, and I must workout! I don't feel that this was a horrible holiday but I know it's easy to slip back into unhealthy mentality very easy.

I hope everyone had a great thanksgiving. I am hoping I didn't gain the 5lbs back, however I am not willing to weigh myself to find out!! not till I have too! :)

If people are able to comment I was wondering if you guys could give some easy go-to healthy recipes that you all use? I need some fresh cooking ideas that don't take ten years, or use a slow cooker..don't have one of those yet!

thanks for your support!! I am very thankful for all of my wonderful friends and family!! y'all rock!

beth

good news

2009-11-24T12:59:00.003-06:00

well after being depressed and upset for some reason yesterday because I hadn't worked out, I weighed myself this morning and I am now 187 (down 5lbs) yay!

I had an interesting conversation recently with someone and she asked me why I always assume the negative instead of relying on the facts. I thought that was interesting. We weren't talking about weight loss but I find that this is a quality that I do have in all aspects of my life and it isn't good. I was upset yesterday because I hadn't worked out and I ate doritos for lunch. boo. However it doesn't always mean that I haven't achieved some success which apparantly I had. I need to figure that out.

I for sure have a great support group which is why I started this in the first place. I am not giving up, just riding the roller coaster of emotions that come along with the process. I need to base my actions on facts not negative assumptions.

THANK YOU for you continued support. I am going to use you all coming up as I realize that this is not going to be quite as smooth as I thought. :) I need to enjoy the process instead of making it a burden. In the end it's about feeling good, how can that start with a negative mindset.

happy tuesday!

comments problem fixed

2009-11-23T20:50:00.001-06:00

I think I fixed the comments problem on the blog, comment away. I need some support. never made it to the scale or my workout. things are heading south quick. argh. going to bed, to hopefully awake to new and rejuvenated motivation.

monday

2009-11-23T08:59:00.000-06:00

well I can't say it was a successful weekend. Still didn't go grocery shopping. argh. and I didn't workout yesterday. i did run on saturday so that was good. I am fairly certain I didn't lose the 2 pounds but I won't know until later.

I understand that people are having trouble commenting on here so I try to figure out what the problem is. I think that you need to create a google account but I will find out...

till the big weigh in.....

one work week down!

2009-11-21T08:38:00.001-06:00

well I made it through the work week. All in all I actually feel much better!! surprisingly. My meals were much healthier. The one area that needs improvement will be the exercise. I only have worked out 2 times so far. so I need to workout today and tomorrow. I am going to do my meal plans today and shop and cook tomorrow!

last night brought up another fork in the road--dining out. My friends and I always do a once a month sushi dinner usually at a new place each month. it's delicious! however...eating out can be catastrophic. So I had to go in knowing exactly was I going to order. I told myself..nothing fried, no cream cheese, no spicy mayo. for those sushi eaters..you know those are the best rolls!! I did great..I had three pieces of sashimi, and I think maybe 6 rolls with just salmon or tuna and avocado. I didn't think that was too bad?? If you out there think that was bad let me know. :) I could just be convincing myself so I need input if you think that was too much. the other kicker of course is alcohol. I told myself I didn't need to take drastic measures I just needed to keep balance. so i had 2.5 glasses of red wine (or something like a half of a bottle). again I say..it's been worse!

I still need major work, but today I feel more in control. The past few month I was just feeling like I couldn't control what I was eating. Sometimes there were even points that I felt like I was eating to spite myself almost if that makes any sense. It was like I knew I shouldn't be eating the whole bag of chips but at the end It was in a way like I was saying to myself no one is going to tell me what I can't do. So this week I feel much better about my choices and overall attitude. I realize that motivation is probably inflated a little since it is only week one. but we have to take our small victories and run with em!

today meal plan, run outside (I need to prepare for the turkey trot I just signed up for..yikes!) no plans for dinner out tonight so I intend on making something new and healthy! I also have to start thinking about my plan of attack for the holidays. all those cookies!

happy weekend everyone..I hope you all enjoy. thanks for you support. I truly appreciate it. I don't think I would have kept this up for even a week if I didn't think people were reading it. And trust me..I have already thought about bailing a few times. But I am not going to because I know y'all would be on me! Thanks again!!

I am alive!

2009-11-19T07:38:00.000-06:00

sorry for the lapse in time..busy last few days with work and school! I have managed to eat pretty healthy....well until last night. SOMEONE (she who wont be named) brought home pizza after specific orders not to (it's ok..i get it)..so after I ate really well all day I ended it with a night cap of two slices of pizza. ugh. It doesn't make you feel good. Peter, I needed you to talk me down!! :) Every day is a new day. My plan today. cardio-probably for an hour if I can make it.. (my tush is sore!)salad for lunch, chx something for dinner

I was talking to my dad and he said he read my blog and said it was good, but that I didn't really have a plan. argh. my plan is to lose weight! ha! ok ok..so...on Saturday's I am going to write out my meals for the week and grocery shop. He suggested that maybe planning all week is advantageous so maybe just start with 2 days at a time. I have tried that..and I end up not planning at all the rest of the time. So I think what I may do is only grocery shop for 2-3 days but still have meal ideas for the entire week. hmmm..i am going to really have to think about what will work for me. I think the big thing to realize is that I may actually have to try multiple ideas before I figure out what works best..it's interesting how when you fail with one idea..it's easy to just give up all together. I do that with food. one bad meal leads to 8.

then my big first weigh in on monday--uh oh.

I hope you all have been able to get something started! I am still feeling positive, but overwhelmed. All this planning talk is making my head spin. I think I need to really evaluate what will work for me...

new ideas to come!
Thanks everyone--have a great healthy day!

End of Day....finally

2009-11-17T19:16:00.000-06:00

well it was an exhausting day..but overall I feel it was a start.

i got zero meal planning. I won't even attempt at an excuse because if i was my client I would say this exact statement "are the excuses worth more than your goal?" (terrible...I know!) but..it is my job after all and someone has to give tough love.

however, I will say I accomplished two positive things- i lifted. legs no less (although I have to admit, I prefer a leg workout over push-ups any day of the week and twice on sunday!) I have to be honest..now that I have gone and put this all out there, I felt even more embarrassed today working out at the club. I am hoping these insecurities will disappear eventually. but maybe that's the root..maybe I am just really insecure and I eat my way through life. hmmm.....ok a little drastic, but there may be something. I should learn to be happy with myself at any weight. I remember a point when i felt i had an epiphany about myself, I was living in new york. I just felt really accepting of who I was i remember exuding and feeling very confident.. coincidentally I also had lost about 20 pounds i packed on in college. I am starting to see an oprah trend *gulp* one thing at a time...so..as for now I can still sit on the toilet after my workout. I didn't enjoy the workout necessarily. I think mainly cuz I just am not comfortable with me. I see all my rolls moving around with every step up and lunge, and it's hard to stay positive.

ok..on to the second positive thing- I ate fairly healthy and even though i made no list, I planned it while eating my cereal this morning (which was golden grahams!! lol..I still had some left over..I know that gets removed from the list. Who even buys that crap!) leftover turkey chili/crackers (only the allotted serving which happened to be 5 crackers..yes it's code red)/ and a banana. dinner roasted chicken with steamed veggies. could be better..could be worse. On my way to jewel however, which is literally out my back window as I mentioned, the wind brought about another yet exciting temptation- BLOMMER CHOCOLATE (also conveniently my neighbor). really? of course....it's ok..i didn't buy any chocolate..but I smell that crap in my hallway every single day and I think someone is making brownies. soo yummy. argh.

well that is all for today..it is what it is.

thanks for following and all of your support! been an interesting two days actually. I waffle between embarrassed/excited at least every hour.

thanks again!..till next time...

Day 1...

2009-11-17T07:36:00.000-06:00

people really are reading this?? crap..now I really have to follow through! ;)

moving forward I think my goals will be to weigh in weekly, and I have a weight loss goal of 8lbs per month. That is 2lbs per week. Seems slow if you ask me, but I can't forget I am not on the biggest loser ranch and I need to be realistic. next step...planning. this seems to be my downfall. I am not a planner for anything! It just makes me feel so restricted!

I am planning on changing two things per month that I feel are important towards my goals. I would be kidding myself to think I can change every single bad habits in one day. so after thinking (i wanted to make a list, but...) I have identified grocery shopping, and weight lifting as two things i don't do...and don't like to do. I am not sure what it is about grocery shopping but..ugh. I think maybe it's because I never have any meals planned so I end being really motivated and I buy a ton of veggie's and then I get home and look in the fridge and think, what the hell am I going to eat! The veggie's end up going bad and I just order pizza or get chips and salsa. so along with grocery shopping..ok well maybe i have identified the real problem. I need to plan my meals for the week. fine. sad thing is I literally live steps away from a great new clean Jewel! i have no excuse! ok..first step today..meal plan for the rest of the week. I did make turkey chili yesterday in an effort to make something hearty, but healthy. Turned out halfway decent considering I have never made it before.

Second..weight lifting. Can you even believe that I am a personal trainer! ha. Since I began working in the gym all I want to do is leave every opportunity I get. That has become the habit. I also hate that when i workout everyone in the gym seems to watch (the product of being a trainer, apparently they think I might do something really cool) so i guess it must be a self confidence thing. I actually considered joining another gym, but then I was like "really!" I can't justify the payments when i work at one of the best gyms in chicago. I know that lifting weights in imperative to my goals. It shapes your body better then any other routine. I am going to lift 2 times a week to start. again..I need to have a plan. otherwise I end up aimlessly roaming around looking for something thats next...ugh. yet another plan. If this is how my clients feel I can really understand their resistance!

so..those are my two (well turns out to be three with the meal plans) things to change for this month..let's see how it goes

my tip- Identify things that need to be changed. Things to think about other than diet and exercise routine: stress level (plays a major part!) environment (friends/family/coworker support) time (we ALL have time) motivation, sleep, and water intake. If you identify problems with any of these try to think of creative ways for a solution.

I'll keep you posted on my planning....*sigh*

Day of Reckoning...

2009-11-16T20:35:00.000-06:00

I have decided that I can no longer make excuses! The time has come to face the challenges of weight loss, dietary changes, and grueling days on the treadmill. I have to admit, I am not that excited. I feel overwhelmed and realize that I have long days ahead of me. Today in an effort to face my fears I had my measurements taken. It is code red. I am the heaviest I have been, probably ever, and my body fat percentage is teetering in the obese category. I think the most astonishing thing is that I understand now how easy it is to become obese. I kept telling myself I had an idea of where I was, slightly above what I was a year ago. I was sorely mistaken. I will give you my measurements as I feel it is important to be honest, but to put things in perspective, I am 30 pounds heavier than I was 2 summers ago, and 10% higher body fat. Astonishing. Embarrassing (mainly because my job is educate and motivate others in similar situations). Overwhelming. Depressing. I have to say I feel more tired and physically my body has begun to revolt me for not exercising. Healthy food no longer tastes good to me as it once did and getting myself motivated to do anything feels nearly impossible. The depression has set in.

My long term goal is to ultimately lose those 30 pounds plus 10. As a trainer I know I can't expect fast results but I am also not going to take it easy. I need to shock the system. I am going to attempt to workout 5 days a week. 2 days of strength training and the rest cardio. only time will tell...

My tip for anyone who is reading this and saying the same things that I was to myself, it's time to fess up and stop living in denial. Get your measurements, your weight, and body fat %. I am fairly certain any trainer in any gym can do this for you (yes you may have to tolerate the sales pitch) as they say...the more you know!

so here it goes as humiliating as it is..
Day 1 measurements:
192 pounds
36% body fat

my waist and hip measurement to follow (I left them at work)

wish me luck, and thanks to everyone who is willing to take the journey with me!!